Happy Thanksgiving from Snacktion News

 

Happy Thanksgiving, viewer. I hope you're enjoying this food based holiday. Usually a producer would chime in now about it being a family holiday, I'd swear at them, throw gravy at a camera and we'd cut to a commercial break. But they unionized and we're home alone this year. 

I spent the time, much like you, sipping Japanese whisky and losing a vanilla scented wishbone toy tug of war to a pitbull who was purchased as a puppy from a homeless fellow on Bourbon St. Typical American stereotype, I know. My true Thanksgiving Day obsession, though, is fried turkey from McHardy's on Broad St. Here's a link to their IG as they're too busy frying amazing shit to make a website for you. Tell them Snacktion News sent you to enjoy a delightful, confused look on their faces.

I reached out to the news team to see what they wanted to share about their day with you while you're avoiding your family.

Mike Hllywa has a few dozen children and animals as it's proper procedure in Amish Country.

MTD: Hllywa! Anything you'd like to share on this nap based holliday?

MH: ALL HAIL TRYPTOPHZZZZZZZZZ

MTD: I should have reached out to him earlier.

MTD: Derwood Morris is a renowned turkey lover. Derwood, what's memorable so far?

DM: 41st consecutive Thanksgiving without brussel sprouts. Looking forward to 42.

MTD: Setting goals can pay off, children. I hope kids aren't watching this program. We've painted some grim word illustrations about a hypothetical BBQ Peppa Pig.

MTD: Snacktion Reporter One (she won a dispute to be one instead of 1) Nicole Amstutz has a Thanksgiving tradition. How's it going, Nikki?

NA: It's an overrated holiday that I have never liked. I spent the day disc golfing, as is my tradition.

MTD: Oh, I *shuffles papers* Is there a traditional food that goes with turkey day disc golf? Funnel cake, I assume.

NA: I'm eating left over pizza now. I don't care much for traditional thanksgiving foods. 

MTD: Way to throw an Empire State Building mini statue on to the Woody Woodpecker balloon. 

NA: Although, I cooked last year for my friends who couldn't see their families and were sad. Knocked it out of the park with my first turkey and even made a non-dairy mac and cheese due to a friend's lactose intolerance. It was amazing.

MTD: Nicole comes through with the heartwarming story. Thanks, Nikki. Somebody pull that balloon off of Mr. Pitts. 

I hope everybody out there enjoys the holiday. Let us know your favorite side in the comments on our website. I'm going to shotgun gravy until I think the Saints might beat the Bills.