Brought To You By: Trolli SOUR CRUNCHY Crawlers

In order to keep the lights on here at Snacktion News, we've decided to take on some commercial sponsors. Our snack budget has gotten out of control since we fired our accountant to save money. We're currently using candy necklaces as an abacus to figure out our finances. Which brings us to today's commercial break brought to you by Trolli.

So get this, Trolli was turned into a candy company from a pasta company when Germany lifted its sugar rationing regulations in 1948. It basically became Trolli in 1975 when it registered the brand name. Ownership has changed hands over the times from Kraft, Nabisco, Wrigley and what I assume now is a maniacal cartoon villain. 

Most likely, you know them as the worm equivalent to Sour Patch Kids. And they are delightful. But that's not why I'm interrupting your regularly scheduled programming. No, this is much more dear to my slightly fuller cash filled heart. It's the Trolli SOUR CRUNCHY Crawlers! I don't know why they only yell the first part on the packaging. 

Yes, you still get the gummi worm but it's covered in a hard candy shell. Crunchy then chewy? Why? And gross. Are the most common reactions while I peddle these to unexpecting strangers on Bourbon St. It's actually the same response from the Family Dollar when I go in there with the shakes and berate cashiers for being out of stock.

Let me try to paint a prettier word picture about this wonderful candy as the suits are currently shaking their heads in disapproval of my glowing ad. You get three flavor profiles. Pink has a strawberry candy shell with a green watermelon center. Why do the colors matters? You taste with your eyes as well, bozos. 

I'm being told to not criticize the assholes I'm marketing to.

*shuffles papers* 

Green is a lime candy shell with a cherry worm inside. Blue is blue raspberry shell with orange innards. I enjoy the crunchiness before the chewiness. Lime-cherry is my favorite. I don't know if the candy shell has any flavor as I crush through them like a dog trying to find the squeaker in a toy. I am, however, trying to get more people to agree with me and to make sure these Trolli checks clear. Let me and Trolli know what you think in the comment section of our website. 

Can't find Trolli Crunchy worms? Send a self stamped envelope to our home office in the Cayman Islands. The first bag is free.

The first bag is not free and we're taking $500 out of your PayPal for viewing whatever this was