The Great Cheez-It Debate

Snacktion News isn't going to get into the highly questionable quality of the Cheez-It ad campaign. Mostly because some of us *straightens tie over my pajamas* would love to join that writing team of cheddar addict 20-year-olds. Instead, my team of snack eating professionals wanted to discuss our general opinions on Cheez-It. I was under the impression that it was a perfectly crumbulant snack. But not everybody agreed. 

I'll start this out by introducing my co-host, Derwood Morris. He lives in a rural part of Georgia most people call Alabama and has to send in his opinions via Pony Express. Let's go...

Derwood Morris: Let me start this important cheez-it conversation by saying that while the actual Cheez-It themselves are delightful, the real treat is at the bottom of the bag. That salty, cheese pieces ending. I mean, if you haven't been caught pouring the remaining contents into your mouth by a concerned employee collecting carts outside a Kroger, you haven't yet lived.

MTD: That's my favorite part of peanuts. The salt dust. I assume it's made by Columbians.

DM: No, just one Columbian, but he's lived in Hopatcong, New Jersey his whole life.

MTD: Oh, Phil. I know Phil.

DM; I've licked a Cheez-It and moved it around the in the bottom of the bag dust and eaten it. I think I've confessed enough for the evening.

MTD: And you threw Phil under the salt bus. Thanks, Derwood.

Let's move to the Original Snacktion reporter, Nicole Amstutz. Nicole, what's your immediate reaction to Cheez-It?

NA: I'm disgusted by them. Even by the smell of them. 

MTD: Like the stale cheese smell? Texture? Flavor? 

NA: The flavor is "trying too hard," the texture is "the roof of my mouth needs stitches," and the smell is "vomit in a box."

MTD: Thanks, Nikki. There goes a sponsor.

At this point, she corrects me on who created Cheez-It and who owns them now. 

Let's go over to my buddy up in Amish country, Mike Hllywa. Hllywa, do you guys get Cheez-It up there or is it a straight cow to cracker situation?

MW: There are snack foods out there that require one to be in the mood.

MTD: Here it comes..

MW: Cheez-It do not fall in that category. It's a munchie food that leaves you forgetting about everything until you realize the box is gone, leaving you largely satisfied, mildly annoyed that the box is empty and marginally covered in salt and cheese dust.

MTD: I know a guy for that.

MW: Perfect for family movie night, a sporting event or eating yourself out of self-pity. *chef kiss* This only goes for original Cheez-It flavor. Regular form or big form. This flavor is like the Pennywise discogrophy; a formula that shouldn't be tricked with. But, for whatever reason, Planters just couldn't leave well enough alone.

Here's what we learned. Derwood is right. Salt dust is a drug. Nicole ruined my brunch meeting with Kellogg or Planters or Mr. Cheez. . Hllywa is from SoCal. Pennywise? This is a snack blog.

My thoughts on Cheez-It? Thanks for asking, mom. Are they out of control on their flavors? Perhaps. But they made it to Extra Toasty and that's all that matters. That's the Cheez-It MVP. I have to go. There's a bag of dust that requires my attention.