The Funfetti Birthday Ham Sandwich

Boar's Head is one of the finer quality deli meats you can get at your local grocery chain. Publix if you're lucky. Robert's if you live in New Orleans. They won't carry Salsalito Turkey but they are quick with the retraining orders.

Which brings us to Boar's Head's newest creation that I also can't purchase, the Funfetti Birthday Ham. Fact checked and trusted news source, The Onion, broke the story about this celebratory ham... 

Make this birthday one to remember with a smoked, cake-batter-infused Virginia ham that has been decorated with festive rainbow sprinkles,” read a company press release, which detailed a process wherein premium leg-cut pork was bestrewn with multicolored candy pieces, dry-aged for six months, and then glazed with a rich vanilla frosting.

As you, viewer, should already know, I'm not afraid to make my own if it isn't available in my region. Isn't that right, Barefoot Oreo Wine? Let's make this sandwich. 

Step One: Acquire or create vanilla icing funfetti ham. I was lucky enough to grab funfetti pepperjack. Not all Rouses will have this.

Step Two: Organize ingredients. I also used funfetti lettuce and oregano. While the funfetti oregano is colorful and looks trippy, do not smoke it. Is a thing a I've heard from other sandwich artists.

Step Three: Build. Candles are important in this step. It's a birthday sandwich.

Now, that's a good looking sandwich. But let's keep in mind that isn't horseradish or a fancy aioli dripping off that ham, it's vanilla icing and sprinkles. Still...

Step Four: It's go time.

The sprinkles were too crunchy. Which, had I melted them in to the ham, obviously wouldn't have been an issue. It was sweet. Because I spread vanilla icing on ham. Should I ham, sorry, have doubled down and put the sandwich on Hawaiian Rolls? Yes, Amber, I should have.

Oh, let's go to a commercial. My Apple Watch is saying I died several minutes ago.