The One With Taco Bell Hot Sauce Packets

Not every news segment can have a clever title so we "borrowed" this from Friends. In this episode, I order $50 in togo Taco Bell to get a hard opinion on the hot sauces, I blame Adam Devine for it and Ross and Rachel continue to be just the worst. 

Taco Bell offers four hot sauce packet options. Mild, Hot, Fire and Diablo. Now, I've had all of these before but I wanted to re-calibrate my tastebuds to give you an honest review of the four flavors. So, I got a soft taco for each and $35 of other stuff. I eat chips and cheese as dessert. I had Snacktion News assemble but I'll go first this time.

Mild: You are a pointless sauce packet. What are you even doing here?

Hot: Some times I prefer hot. Solid flavor. But, come on, you aren't hot.

Fire: Now we're cooking with, um, fire. Good flavor, good heat. It's my favorite.

Diablo: I like the heat of Diablo but like most manufactured hot things the flavor suffers for it. I'll still use it. Maybe mix in a little hot.

Snacktion Reporter One, Nicole Amstutz is joining us.

MTD: Nikki, what's your go to?

NA: I don't use them. Except when I do. And then I'll use any of them.

MTD: So, just a blind grab out of the bag?

NA: No, I use them in order from mild to hottest. But I always say I don't need any.

MTD: What's a typical order?

NA: Black bean quesaritos, soft taco supreme, RIP mexican pizza.

MTD: Oh, shit. Mexican pizza. Now, you're stirring up some hurt feelings. First, they took enchiritos away from me and then Mexican pizza. It's all the same ingredients. Explain yourself, Taco Bell.

Amber Hllwya joins us to tell us Mike's weird tastes.

MTD: Amber, what's your go to?

AH: Mild, always mild. I like hot/spicy stuff but Taco Bell packets don't do it for me. 

MTD: You guys are not great at pandering to potential sponsors.

AH: My son, on the other hand, uses Diablo on everything. Ramen, fruit, no regard for his stomach lining or tastebuds.

MTD: I'll send you the adoption papers. Amber, what's a typical team Hllwya order at TBell?

AH: Two soft tacos with no cheese and a bean burrito I don't eat and the cinnamon twist things.

Mike gets four soft tacos with no lettuce, an order of nachos, four extra sides of nacho cheese to dip his tacos in.

MTD: This is good info. Let me make a note. *Mike bathes in wet cheese* Okay, what's his deal with lettuce?

AH: He only likes lettuce with French or Italian dressing and nothing else.

MTD: French or Italian. Quite the renaissance man.

The main conclusion to draw from this, viewer, is that Fire is the best sauce packet and my team of field reporters are wrong yet again. Mild, Amber? 

Adam Devine, famous for Workaholics and Adam Devine's House Party and a ton of movies and TV shows, made a commercial about ordering togo Taco Bell. He used to be a regular of mine. Very nice guy. But anytime I order $50 of Taco Bell delivery, I curse his name. Thanks again, Adam.