Are Sour Patch Kids The Greatest Candy Ever

Yes. End of news segment. *takes off pants* I have to fill more time? 

Sour Patch Kids have been around for longer than you'd think. There's been a variation since the 1970's but they were rebranded to Sour Patch Kids in 1985. They're doing some weird stuff with them now but the original Sour Patch Kids are probably the greatest candy ever. They're sour, then sweet and sometimes light your house on fire. I think that's how the ad campaign goes. Well, since we have time to kill before Frank complains about food on Everybody Loves Raymond, Snacktion News assemble!

The original Snacktion News reporter Nicole is back with us.

MTD: Nikki, Sour Patch Kids, greatest candy ever?

NA: I don't really like candy so I can't dispute your assesment.

MTD: It's shocking we're still on the air.

MTD: Don't like candy? Is it the blatant disregard for tooth decay?

NA: I don't like how it feels in my mouth. 

MTD: All candy? Or just Sour Patch? Lifesavers are smooth.

NA: Only wint o green are acceptable.

MTD: That's fair. I do wonder if you're eating candy right, though.

Let's throw it over to Molly Mayhem to see if she likes Sour Patch.

MTD: Molly, do you have a favorite?

MM: The original one?

MTD: I *shuffles papers* Okay. Can you tell the difference in flavor between the colors?

MM: I'd like to say no. But then again, I've never tried.

MTD: I'm not sure they taste that much different but technically, green is lime, yellow is lemon, orange explains itself and red is redberry, which isn't a thing but its not cherry or strawberry.

MTD: Is it the best sour candy snack?

MM: Sour candy, yes. I like Skittles and Starburst more for fruit flavored candy though.

MTD: We get it, Molly. I'm sure Starburst will eventually send you a case of pink.

Mike Hllywa is coming to us live from some part of the northeast.

MTD: Mike, are Sour Patch Kids the greatest candy of all time?

MH: The watermelon ones are. And you can get diabetes when the bag is done.

MTD: We'll take that out in post. We're still live? Shit! Er, shoot. 

MTD: The watermelon ones are fantastic. That was actually an offshoot of Sour Patch Fruit which actually tasted like the what they were supposed to be.

MH: I didn't know that. I could bathe in the watermelon ones.

MTD: Mmhmm. What?

MTD: The regular kids, I think just taste like the color.

MH: Well, who only eats one color at a time?

MTD: Yeah,, I like putting red and yellow together.

MH: Nah, handfuls.

MTD: You're a true snacktion warrior.

MH: I've got badges to earn.

MTD: They take some time. It's an 86 year old woman who stitches them together. And I pay her in Werther's Originals.

MH: That's because she got paid before paper currency or however it is you pay us.

MTD: You guys get paid in snackbit. It should be worth something in a few years. It's a pic of a cheeto that you can sell. That's how that ape shit works, right?

Oh, Everbody Loves Ray is on. Sour Patch Kids are the best. See you next time.