Fighting About Mayo On French Fries

The origin of mayonnaise dates back to 1742 when George Blue Plate spilled lemon juice on some chicken eggs. 

That can't be right. Wikipedia? You don't know? So...

After that fateful day when Old Man Blue Plate wrecked his chicken eggs with lemon juice and a dash of vinegar, turkey sandwiches became all the rage. It wasn't until 1994 when a documentary came out about some gangsters in California and one of them mentioned dietary preferences between the United States and something called Europe. The most damning claim was that Amsterdamians love to dip their fries in mayo instead of ketchup. When Snacktion News hears some outrageous claims like that from 30 years ago, we assemble. 

We even brought in a special correspondent, our friend and yours, Thomas Ridgely.

MTD: Tom, you're a trained chef. There's definitely a split crowd about whether mayo is a dipping sauce for fries. You're reaction?

TR: It's a dispute. Man, look, either you like fries with mayo or you're wrong. 

MTD: A dispute is a perfect way to remind our viewer that you can pull people's arms off because of karate.

TR: I don't know karate but I know Karazy.

MTD: You're new but this is a serious show.

TR: And some Jiu Jitsu, wrestling, boxing and Muay Thai.

MTD: I don't know any of that jibberish but I'm inclined to offer you our good bottled water now.

MTD: How'd you end up in Germany? To karate the Nazis?

TR: I got to Germany the same way as most people, on a flight.

MTD: DO NOT TURN ON THAT APPLAUSE SIGN

TR: To karate Nazis no but there's a great story that involves the rich history of

MTD: This commercial break is brought to you by California Raisins. They are not aging well.

TR: And you wanna know the main thing I saw people eat as a snack food?

MTD: I'll see if we have time.

TR: Fries with mayo!

MTD: Oh, shit. That's our topic today. 

TR: Since then I've made it a goal to convince people the glory of fries with mayo. 

MTD: I suspected Vincent Vega was a liar in that documentary.

TR: There's endless combinations of fry types and flavored mayo. 

MTD: Different flavored mayo. Like putting onion rings on top?

TR: Garlic dill, for example. It pairs well with

MTD: Hold on there, mayo sommelier, we're working on walking not running.

TR: A wise man once said mayo your goals I forget the rest. 

MTD: You can listen to Thomas dispense more wisdom like that on his wonderful Food Fight Podcast after he gets kicked in the head all day. But, go listen to it or he'll twist you into a pretzel and there won't be beer cheese sauce.

Let's check in with Mike Hllwya. Amish Country must love bland condiments.

MTD: Mike, you're live and we're talking fries and mayo.

MH: Nothing with mayo.

MTD: You're going on the record as anti mayo?

MH: I'm going on the record as "would willingly guillotine the creator of mayo"

MTD: How do you get the quotations to appear? Do you have a side closed captioning deal?

MTD: What about mayo makes you feel this murderous rage? Did it kill your father?

MH: It upset my bologna sandwich once. 

MTD: Have you considered bologna as the culprit?

MH: How dare you, sir.

MTD: We've been talking about a bologna intervention for you around the office.

MH: You can goddamn try. Your office is a Scrooge McDuck swimming pool of Trolli Crunchy Worms. 

MTD: That reminds me, the dentist is coming to replace our teeth again next Tuesday. 

What

*shuffles papers*

Fries and mayo! Maybe Snacktion Reporter extraordinaire Nicole Amstutz will be less combative.

MTD: Nikki, fries and mayo?

NA: Mayo is only acceptable in aioli form.

MTD: I don't know how you guys got so fancy. I kinda look at payroll.

NA: Once I mixed mayo with soy sauce and Tony's and that was pretty delicious with fries.

MTD: Mayo, soy sauce and Tony Chachere's sounds delicious. How drunk were you?

NA: I was not. I was at work and the dipping options were limited. I like to dip.

MTD: Can we afford the rights to play Freak Nasty's Da Dip?! She put that on a tee for us. What's her aioli budget?!

Clearly my team is on the fence about this debate and one Snacktion Reporter spent our Freak Nasty money on a truffle ailoi. I'm going to side with Thomas. It took a long time for me to come around to the nonsense happening across the pond. But give it a shot. It's good. Tabasco makes a mayo. That's the top ruined egg sauce in my opinion.

Does Tabasco send me a check for that directly?